For starters, we are NOT running away from BigFoot Zombie. BFZ is as important to us as always for the good work he does keeping folklore alive. We need myths in this world. They keep the imagination alive and we can never have enough of that in this world.
The Value of Leaps of Faith
Imagination and creativity fuels the planet. It give people hope and faith. It keeps us being able to take leaps of faith. It is highly valued.
Making a Difference
So Mr. Sasquatch Undead. Wherever you are at this moment please keep doing what you are doing making a difference in our national and international communities. And please take it to hear, we are NOT running away from you.
Did You Know the Loch Ness Monster Has a Nickname?
Many people have unsuccessfully sought out the monster in the depths of water in the Loch Ness in Scotland…Until now. The Stamas Bros, who often get confused for being another set of Stamas Bros who make boats, were asked by their good friend BigFoot Zombie, currently residing in The Bronx, to find his missing pal the Loch Ness Monster (or as he affectionally calls her, Nessie). Nessie must have checked out the website “Celebify,” because she is pretty darn famous for someone whose very existence is questioned. The last time the Stamas Bros saw this lizard like creature she asked for a little help with her yacht.
It’s Close to Inverness?
According to Wikipedia the Loch Ness is a large, deep, freshwater loch in the Scottish Highlands extending for approximately 37 kilometers southwest of Inverness. If you’re ever there the bros encourage you to try Haggis, but they emphasize it MUST be eaten with a side of neeps and tatties.
Gastropub to the Rescue!
Unfortunately the Stamas Bros were unable to get to Scotland so they did the next best thing: they went to Highlands NYC in in the West Village which is a Scottish restaurant.
Being in a Straightjacket can be a Killjoy
Stamas Bro Aristotle was still in New York following getting Stamas Bro Homer released from a recent bout in an insane asylum where he had been kept in a straightjacket in a padded room. In recounting the experience Homer recommended that folks avoid such an incident themselves . He must have been pretty serious about this, because he even went so far as to say that staying in a loony bin is worse than eating Haggis without neeps and tatties!
Even Stamas Bros Can Get Inebriated
At the Highland NYC eatery, Stamas Bro Homer got a bit tipsy on a Rusty Nail which consists of Drambuie that is a liqueur that has been produced commercially in the city of Edinburgh since the early 20th century and consists of a blend of Scotch whisky, honey, herbs and spices. And no, we’re not going to do another neeps and tatties joke!
Not to be Confused with the TV Show that Was Broadcast from September 12, 1954, to March 25, 1973
As bagpipers began to play “I Love A Lassie” Stamas Bro Homer jumped onto a table and began sing along but got the lyrics confused:
“I love a Nessie, a bonnie Hielan’ Loch Ness Monster Nessie, if you saw her you would fancy her as well, I met her in September, popped the question in November, so I’ll soon be havin’ her a’ to ma-sel’!”
Harry Wouldn’t be Happy
A bit embarrassed by the lyrical switcharoo, Stamas Bro Homer sat down and hoped he had not upset the spirit of the late Harry Lauder.
But the lyrical switch gave Stamas Bro Aristotle an idea. He exclaimed:
“I know where Nessie is! I know where Nessie is!”
Dialing for “Sasquatch Undead”
The Bros immediately phoned their famous friend BigFoot Zombie who had only recently gotten a mobile phone, but of the disposable type. He had been saving up for a full fledged iPhone, but instead spent his savings on a P.A. system so he could growl loudly for BigFoot Zombie searchers, even if he had a bout of Bronchitis.
The Ending Needs Some Work
BFZ didn’t hear the ring because he was listening to Billy Joel. Please note, we’d love to end this segment with having Stamas Bro Aristotle say his plan to find Nessie and it be hysterical. Unfortunately we’ve hit a creative block and the best we can do is leave you while saying “Don’t forget the neeps and tatties!”
To Become Well Known Like BigFoot Zombie (this is a commercial)
Would you like to have the visibility of BigFoot Zombie? A place you could start is the free USAcreate.com Newsletter that brings you weekly promotion tips. When you subscribe to this free newsletter, you also get absolutely for free, a 10 day email course on marketing yourself or your business. And finally. you’ll have access to downloading a checklist eBook about the steps to getting your product or yourself in front of your audience. So subscribe now!
Brace Yourself for a Bizarre, Twisted and Utterly Weird Tale
Welcome Stamas Bros fans and lovers of the unearthly, coming your way is a story, so strange and out of the ordinary that we encourage you to turn back and not read the following unless you are utterly sure you can handle freaky and peculiar anecdotes so astonishing you could find yourself going…Well, going INSANE!
So if you’re still reading this, we’ve done our due diligence and warned you so you are now proceeding of your own volition and curiosity of bugged out narratives!
It’s Important to Pronounce People’s Names Correctly
Web Designer, Digital Marketer and Blogger John Yianni Stamas has the last name “Stamas” and according to the audio recording at HowToPronounce.com he pronounces it correctly ([American] S-ta-mas, [British] Sta-mas). This fact pleases the event organizers who are none other than the wacky and beloved Stamas Bros – consisting of Stamas Bro Homer and Stamas Bro Aristotle – who experience deep anxiety when folks mispronounce their surname.
Event Coordinators Get Extra Support
So for extra support the Stamas Bros invite John Yianni Stamas to their NON-Mythical Monster Event for real monsters everywhere including the Abominable Snowman (Yeti was packed in ice) and the Loch Ness Monster (via Skype) as well as human monster adorers like the Manhattan Magician and folks from Harry Potter Fan Club NYC.
The affair was created by the Stamas Bros to clear up the myth that monsters are a mere figment of our imaginations. In other words monsters have the right to actually EXIST too!
The Madness Inducing Conference Goes Really Really Well (if You Consider things that are Maniacal and Spine Chilling as Going Well)
Here’s the kooky and shocking unraveling as spun by Stamas Bro Aristotle who was shaking a bit as he bravely spoke:
“It was a beautiful and affirming thing to watch humans and monsters finally meeting face to face as brothers and sisters (note: he meant that figuratively not genetically)”
This Just In…Maybe the Happening was Not so Copacetic After All
It turns out there were glitches at the BFZSUNMME!
What the Stamas Bros did not disclose is that there were a lot of monsters, who though invited, chose not to show up. All these creatures are officially sanctuned as FMFATWs (Fearsome Monsters From Around the World) the proof of which can be found at OxfordDictionaries.com.
Oxford Dictionaries’ creature feature line up include Gremlins, Chupacabras, Manticores, Banshees, Poltergeists, Mummies, Krakens, Werewolves, Cerberuses, Succubuses, Incubuses, Cyclopses, Nandi Bears, and yes even Basiliskes (though they prefer the Greek Basiliskos, meaning ‘little king, serpent’). And last but not least, the Jersey Devil. In fact, the Jersey Devil had been selected by all the other creatures to be their spokesperson.
Said JD directly to the Stamas Bros:
“As if it’s not enough to have humiliating Jersey jokes be made about us by you Manhattan-ites, but on top of that you disrespect us by naming your shindig “The BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead NON-Mythical Monster Event.” We creatures don’t respond kindly to this name because as you know BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead are merely different monikers for the same beast! Where are our names?! I don’t see any Jersey Devil, or Godzilla or even Dracula – yeah that’s right, he self identifies as a monster too! Frankenstein as well, but then you probably knew that.”
Stamas Bro Homer steps toward JD and speaks to him earnestly while quivering.
“JD sir, I have only reverence for you and your kind. After all you are a fabled inhabitant of the sparsely-populated Pine Barrens region in the US state of NJ. You are a wonderful kangaroo-like creature with a fantastic horse/dog head, dragon-like wings, a tail, and horns. Plus, you’re so incredibly great that the National Hockey League team based in your state – chose in your honor to call themselves the New Jersey Devils!
JD seems to take well to being buttered up and exclaims with a blood curdling scream:
Stamas Bro Homer, doing his best to not reveal how scared he really is, continues.
“And since you are so terrific I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We meant no disrespect.”
Stamas Bro Homer looks toward Stamas Bro Aristotle (seen on a laptop screen broadcasting from North Fork, CA, near Fresno). Stamas Bro Aristotle nods in agreement then both Bros look toward the Jersey Devil continuing to nod their heads a bit too much, possibly to cover their fear.
JD hesitates for a moment and then get a big grin.
“Oh okay, if you put it that way I guess we can absolve you just this once. But if you do this get together next year I hope you’ll simply call it “The NON-Mythical Monster Event” not naming any particular member of the horror league.”
“I don’t understand. The website is named BigFoot Zombie and yet the Stamas Bros continue to search for different mythical creatures than that. The NYC Water Dragon in the Harlem River was a recent quest and now an intentionally blurry picture of a so called unicorn. It’s got to stop. Focus on BigFootZombie Stamas Bros, not lizards in water and horses with a horn. It tarnishes the last name “Stamas” for Stamas’ all over the world.”
When asking the Stamas Bros why Yianni (a web designer, digital marketer, blogger and sometime filmmaker, educator and magician) was so insulted by searching for pretend creatures other than just BFZ, the Brothers were silent. Stamas Bro Aristotle refused to answer citing that he was busy on a skiing trip in Aspen and planned to go to Bermuda afterwards. Finally Stamas Bro Homer broke down and responded from the Empire State (New York). He had this to say:
“We (the Stamas Bros) understand Yianni Stamas’ concern. We have not been focused enough as guest bloggers on BigFootZombie.com and are getting kind of off topic. We know this confuses the audience and doesn’t reflect kindly on Stamas’ everywhere. For this reason we have great remorse.”
Just when Yianni Stamas was about to back off from criticising the Stamas Bros for baffling and convoluted messaging regarding fake beings from another dimension, the brothers known as Stamas were allegedly overheard by a private detective who was wiretapping their phones. Stamas Bro Aristotle apparently suggested that the bros go in search of Chimera, a fire-breathing three-headed monster with one head of a lion, one of a snake, and another of a goat, lion claws in front and goat legs behind, and a long snake tail.
Despite the similarities of the photo shown in this blog entry to another well known one of the Loch Ness Monster, the Stamas Bros claim that after much investigative effort they snapped this picture of a creature they call the NYC Water Dragon in the Harlem River. Says Stamas Bro Homer:
“Sure it looks a lot like the Nessie image taken in Scotland, but we were staked out for hours to get this snapshot in the Inwood Manhattan water area. Ironically, we next intend to try to catch an image of Scotland’s National Animal, the unicorn. But the unicorn we are seeking is one that was first spotted in Inwood Hill Park.”