Did You Have the Courage to Attend?!
Were you at this unusual New York City event? If this is the case and you didn’t lose your mind (and haven’t been institutionalized and put in a padded cell due to the odd things you witnessed) we’d love to hear from you by leaving a message at the nonprofit sponsored Lights Camera Read website IF YOU DARE!
Brace Yourself for a Bizarre, Twisted and Utterly Weird Tale
Welcome Stamas Bros fans and lovers of the unearthly, coming your way is a story, so strange and out of the ordinary that we encourage you to turn back and not read the following unless you are utterly sure you can handle freaky and peculiar anecdotes so astonishing you could find yourself going…Well, going INSANE!
So if you’re still reading this, we’ve done our due diligence and warned you so you are now proceeding of your own volition and curiosity of bugged out narratives!
It’s Important to Pronounce People’s Names Correctly
Web Designer, Digital Marketer and Blogger John Yianni Stamas has the last name “Stamas” and according to the audio recording at HowToPronounce.com he pronounces it correctly ([American] S-ta-mas, [British] Sta-mas). This fact pleases the event organizers who are none other than the wacky and beloved Stamas Bros – consisting of Stamas Bro Homer and Stamas Bro Aristotle – who experience deep anxiety when folks mispronounce their surname.
Event Coordinators Get Extra Support
So for extra support the Stamas Bros invite John Yianni Stamas to their NON-Mythical Monster Event for real monsters everywhere including the Abominable Snowman (Yeti was packed in ice) and the Loch Ness Monster (via Skype) as well as human monster adorers like the Manhattan Magician and folks from Harry Potter Fan Club NYC.
The affair was created by the Stamas Bros to clear up the myth that monsters are a mere figment of our imaginations. In other words monsters have the right to actually EXIST too!
The Madness Inducing Conference Goes Really Really Well (if You Consider things that are Maniacal and Spine Chilling as Going Well)
Here’s the kooky and shocking unraveling as spun by Stamas Bro Aristotle who was shaking a bit as he bravely spoke:
“It was a beautiful and affirming thing to watch humans and monsters finally meeting face to face as brothers and sisters (note: he meant that figuratively not genetically)”
This Just In…Maybe the Happening was Not so Copacetic After All
It turns out there were glitches at the BFZSUNMME!
What the Stamas Bros did not disclose is that there were a lot of monsters, who though invited, chose not to show up. All these creatures are officially sanctuned as FMFATWs (Fearsome Monsters From Around the World) the proof of which can be found at OxfordDictionaries.com.
Oxford Dictionaries’ creature feature line up include Gremlins, Chupacabras, Manticores, Banshees, Poltergeists, Mummies, Krakens, Werewolves, Cerberuses, Succubuses, Incubuses, Cyclopses, Nandi Bears, and yes even Basiliskes (though they prefer the Greek Basiliskos, meaning ‘little king, serpent’). And last but not least, the Jersey Devil. In fact, the Jersey Devil had been selected by all the other creatures to be their spokesperson.
Said JD directly to the Stamas Bros:
“As if it’s not enough to have humiliating Jersey jokes be made about us by you Manhattan-ites, but on top of that you disrespect us by naming your shindig “The BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead NON-Mythical Monster Event.” We creatures don’t respond kindly to this name because as you know BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead are merely different monikers for the same beast! Where are our names?! I don’t see any Jersey Devil, or Godzilla or even Dracula – yeah that’s right, he self identifies as a monster too! Frankenstein as well, but then you probably knew that.”
Stamas Bro Homer steps toward JD and speaks to him earnestly while quivering.
“Jersey Devil sir.”
“You can call me JD.”
“JD sir, I have only reverence for you and your kind. After all you are a fabled inhabitant of the sparsely-populated Pine Barrens region in the US state of NJ. You are a wonderful kangaroo-like creature with a fantastic horse/dog head, dragon-like wings, a tail, and horns. Plus, you’re so incredibly great that the National Hockey League team based in your state – chose in your honor to call themselves the New Jersey Devils!
JD seems to take well to being buttered up and exclaims with a blood curdling scream:
Stamas Bro Homer, doing his best to not reveal how scared he really is, continues.
“And since you are so terrific I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We meant no disrespect.”
Stamas Bro Homer looks toward Stamas Bro Aristotle (seen on a laptop screen broadcasting from North Fork, CA, near Fresno). Stamas Bro Aristotle nods in agreement then both Bros look toward the Jersey Devil continuing to nod their heads a bit too much, possibly to cover their fear.
JD hesitates for a moment and then get a big grin.
“Oh okay, if you put it that way I guess we can absolve you just this once. But if you do this get together next year I hope you’ll simply call it “The NON-Mythical Monster Event” not naming any particular member of the horror league.”
“You got it” say the two Stamas Bros in unison.
And so everything ends happily. And again, if you were at this year’s NMME (renamed NON-Mythical Monster Event) please let us know about your experience of it no matter how abnormal, astounding or atypical!