John Yianni Stamas has been Busy on a Project and is NOT Ignoring B.F.Z.

Yes, you’re seeing what you might be thinking you’re seeing above. It’s an artist’s rendering of Big foot Zombie splitting into a rainbow which happens when BFZ is very upset. The symbolism of the rainbow is that it represents all the various colors of Big Foot Zombie’s emotions. The source of his sad mood is that he believes that John Yianni Stamas, inventor of the Big Foot Zombie character, has been ignoring him lately, After all, the last post on this blog was on October 5th, approximately six months ago.

When asked for a comment, Mr. Stamas assured BFZ Magazine and Blog that nothing could be further from the truth. Big Foot Zombie is always on his mind. It’s just that he has been consumed with a new website he has been creating entitled USA How To. is the organization that John Yianni Stamas founded to help media freelancers to find work. He has asked Big Foot Zombie to not move from the Bronx where he resides at Pelham Bay Park, which is the largest park in New York City at 2,765 acres in size. Stamas and Big Foot Zombie have a special area of the park where they meet. John says he is going to the park today anyway to write an article for Bronx News NYC. Mr. Zombie was not available for comment because today he is dead to the world.

Yianni Stamas Takes a Look at BigFoot Zombie and the Paranormal

The Conversation Around BFZ

Yianni Stamas reminds us that as Halloween gets closer, the conversation around BigFoot Zombie has become ignited. If you like wacky, offbeat, esoteric humor (and/or desperate attempts at being funny), you’re going to luv the bros!

Stamas Bros Not Guest Stars this Week

Though, unfortunately the Stamas Bros are not going to be a part of this BigFoot Zombie episode as they often are. There will be far less humor and more scientific data given in this post incarnation. So if you’re seeking a chuckle this is the wrong blog entry to read. For this we are putting on our scientist caps and pretending we have our PHD in some arcane study.

Dive in at Your Own Risk

We are going explore some questions. Is Heaven Real? Do Aliens Exist? Should We Worry About Zombies, Vampires and Bigfoot or even BigFoot Zombies? Studies finds that strangely adults are more likely than children to believe in the supernatural. If this post was intended to be funny we might take a page from Geico and randomly mention the Big Apple Awards and how they are taking their own Artist Steps as they merge with the Platinum PIAs Awards. But since this blog entry is not intended to be humorous I won’t do that.

Resolving Done with the Supernatural

To be specific, one study has uncovered that supernatural explanations for major life events, such as death and illness, are more likely to be resolved through the point of view of the supernatural.

Old Age Mysteries

Addressing age old mysteries, such as BigFoot Zombie, consist sometimes of things that are caught on camera that many think are fake but just as many think of as real. Specifically we’re talking about sightings over the years of BigFoot Zombie.

Real or Not?

Here’s how younger and older adults line up on several age-old mysteries. Patterson–Gimlin film is an American short motion picture of an unidentified subject which the filmmakers have said was a BigFoot Zombie. The footage was shot in 1967 in Northern California, and has since been subjected to many attempts to authenticate or debunk it.

BigFoot Zombie Takes Precedence

Interestingly is that many of those who saw the footage that the blurry figure captured was BigFoot instead of BigFoot Zombie. But with the onslaught of zombie TV series and films, many now say that it is BigFoot Zombie.

Where the Famous Film Clip Was Shot

The footage was filmed alongside Bluff Creek, a tributary of the Klamath River, about 25 logging-road miles northwest of Orleans, California, in Del Norte County. The film site is roughly 38 miles south of Oregon and 18 miles east of the Pacific Ocean.

Exact Location Lost

For decades, the exact location of the site was lost, primarily because of re-growth of foliage in the streambed after the flood of 1964. It was rediscovered in 2011..And at that point speculation began that maybe this creature caught on camera was not BigFoot at all, but instead – BigFoot Zombie.

The Differences Between BigFoot and BigFoot Zombie

BigFoot Zombie is different than just plain BigFoot in that BigFoot Zombie is also known as its alternative moniker which is Sasquatch Undead. This is an important distinction because whereas BigFoot is thought to be some kind of missing link or other scientific speculation, BigFoot Zombie as per the name Sasquatch Undead is thought to be just that: UNdead!

Stamas Bros, on Behalf of BigFoot Zombie, Search for Loch Ness Monster Using Scuba Diving Photoshop

The Stamas Bros consist of Stamas Bro Homer (left) and Stamas Bro Aristotle (right). And as can be seen in this scuba diving photo of them, the closest they ever got to actual diving was through the use of a popular graphics program.

Did You Know the Loch Ness Monster Has a Nickname?

Many people have unsuccessfully sought out the monster in the depths of water in the Loch Ness in Scotland…Until now. The Stamas Bros, who often get confused for being another set of Stamas Bros who make boats, were asked by their good friend BigFoot Zombie, currently residing in The Bronx,  to find his missing pal the Loch Ness Monster (or as he affectionally calls her, Nessie). Nessie must have checked out the website “Celebify,” because she is pretty darn famous for someone whose very existence is questioned. The last time the Stamas Bros saw this lizard like creature she asked for a little help with her yacht.

It’s Close to Inverness?

According to Wikipedia the Loch Ness is a large, deep, freshwater loch in the Scottish Highlands extending for approximately 37 kilometers southwest of Inverness. If you’re ever there the bros encourage you to try Haggis, but they emphasize it MUST be eaten with a side of neeps and tatties.

Gastropub to the Rescue!

Unfortunately the Stamas Bros were unable to get to Scotland so they did the next best thing: they went to Highlands NYC in in the West Village which is a Scottish restaurant.

Being in a Straightjacket can be a Killjoy

Stamas Bro Aristotle was still in New York following getting Stamas Bro Homer released from a recent bout in an insane asylum where he had been kept in a straightjacket in a padded room. In recounting the experience Homer recommended that folks avoid  such an incident themselves . He must have been pretty serious about this, because he even went so far as to say that staying in a loony bin is worse than eating Haggis without neeps and tatties!

Even Stamas Bros Can Get Inebriated

At the Highland NYC eatery, Stamas Bro Homer got a bit tipsy on a Rusty Nail which consists of Drambuie that is a liqueur that has been produced commercially in the city of Edinburgh since the early 20th century and consists of a blend of Scotch whisky, honey, herbs and spices. And no, we’re not going to do another neeps and tatties joke!

Not to be Confused with the TV Show that Was Broadcast from September 12, 1954, to March 25, 1973

As bagpipers began to play “I Love A Lassie” Stamas Bro Homer jumped onto a table and began sing along but got the lyrics confused:

“I love a Nessie, a bonnie Hielan’ Loch Ness Monster Nessie, if you saw her you would fancy her as well, I met her in September, popped the question in November, so I’ll soon be havin’ her a’ to ma-sel’!”

Harry Wouldn’t be Happy

A bit embarrassed by the lyrical switcharoo, Stamas Bro Homer sat down and hoped he had not upset the spirit of the late Harry Lauder.

But the lyrical switch gave Stamas Bro Aristotle an idea. He exclaimed:

“I know where Nessie is! I know where Nessie is!”

Dialing for “Sasquatch Undead”

The Bros immediately phoned their famous friend BigFoot Zombie who had only recently gotten a mobile phone, but of the disposable type. He had been saving up for a full fledged iPhone, but instead spent his savings on a P.A. system so he could growl loudly for BigFoot Zombie searchers, even if he had a bout of Bronchitis.

The Ending Needs Some Work

BFZ didn’t hear the ring because he was listening to  Billy Joel. Please note, we’d love to end this segment with having Stamas Bro Aristotle say his plan to find Nessie and it be hysterical. Unfortunately we’ve hit a creative block and the best we can do is leave you while saying “Don’t forget the neeps and tatties!”

To Become Well Known Like BigFoot Zombie (this is a commercial)

Would you like to have the visibility of BigFoot Zombie? A place you could start is the free Newsletter that brings you weekly promotion tips. When you subscribe to this free newsletter, you also get absolutely for free, a 10 day email course on marketing yourself or your business. And finally. you’ll have access to downloading a checklist eBook about the steps to getting your product or yourself in front of your audience. So subscribe now!

BigFoot Zombie and the Fame Factor

Breaking News: it’s been confirmed again that this photo is really BigFoot Zombie and not Bigfoot. This confirmation was done scientifically so you know it must be true. Well, at least closer to truth than if it had been done unscientifically!

We’re Proud of BFZ

At BigfootZombie headquarters were exploring the hottest question of the moment which is of course “Is BigfootZombie going to be bigger than just plain Bigfoot because of the current zombie craze?!

Fact Checker is Here

Since the most recent sighting of BigfootZombie was in the Bronx we have in the house. And the perfect companion to this is the purveyors of who wins the most recognition:!

Amanda S. Interview

First we of course wanted to know who sighted the fuzzy creature. The answer was Amanda from the South Bronx. She said she was on her way to teach (she teaches at a local community college) and for a moment saw the hairy being who then vanished into a sea of buildings resulting in a series of screams and “shocked noises.” Here’s was what Amanda said:

I was taken by surprise. I am a math teacher you see and numbers are my life. Everything to the last digit. So I must admit my world of order and numerical exploration was jolted. I didn’t get a very good view. All I saw was fuzziness just like the photos. But I did notice that BigFoot Zombie was giving me the peace sign.

The peace sign? You mean like from the ’60’s? Peace, love and joy and all that?

Yes. I got the distinct feeling I was being invited to a party. You see, I read sign language and Sasquatch Undead was signing me an invitation to a “happening.” He also said that Bronx News NYC was going to be there that I thought was pretty cool.

Did you go?

Go where?

To the happening. Did you go to the happening?

Yes. I must admit I did. I was curious. What would a party be like hosted by the one and only BFZ. Also, I thought that by doing so I might end up on the blog, My 10 year old son is a big fan.

What was the party like?

Not to be petty, but when the salad course started during the dinner before the event, there weren’t salad forks. This to me is a big no-no. I think you should always have salad forks.

You had dinner in the morning? That seems a bit strange.

Yes. I thought so too. It might have been a fame play on his part, being eccentric and all that sometimes ignites the visibility fire. Also, I know you asked me before this interview started who I thought was ultimately going to be bigger as a legend? BigFoot or BigFoot Zombie. I think BigFoot Zombie SHOULD be bigger, but he’s got a lot of catching up to do if he wants to be in the Monster Hall of Fame.

Did you make it to school on time that morning?

I did. Thankfully BigFoot Zombie was also a magician and he whisked me back in time. So I was at the school of my teaching position before the bell even rang.

BigFoot Zombie Tells it Like it is

Yo, like you can’t even see me in the collage above (I’m the speck to the lower left with the BIG images featuring the Stamas Bros!

BigFoot Zombie Goes on the Record

This is a message from me, yes me, BigFoot Zombie himself. Look, I’ll be frank. I’m going to tell it like it is. Being a mythical creature ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. My days are filled with making crunching sounds in the woods so that those who are seeking to prove I’m real will at least have something to talk about.

BFZ Takes His Mission Seriously

It comes down to being responsible to carry out in the 21st century the excitement that folklore can bring to folks.


you may ask,

“…If you’re able to do things like work with the Stamas Bros on marketing campaigns, doesn’t that ruin the mystique of the the question of your existence?”

Great question. No, strangely enough it doesn’t ruin the mystique of my existence because when I publicly work with my buds, the Stamas Bros, on promotional projects like How to Get New Customers, people just assume it’s a publicity stunt and that I’m actually a guy in a suit.

A Society that no Longer Believes in Magic

You see, everyone’s so jaded that the don’t believe in anything anymore, let alone that BigFoot Zombie would be designing websites and doing marketing work. Well I am working on a campaign with the Stamas Bros. A campaign for a brand new website called How to Get More Customers.

A Word of Advice from “The Footster

I think why I’m doing what I’m doing is because despite not being believed for what I am, I still believe in make-believe. I mean, if you’re going to believe in something you may as well believe in fairies, elves and gremlins. In fact, I’ve never met a gremlin I didn’t like. They are kissing cousins with leprechauns.

Leprechauns are Terrific Entertainers

Leprechauns by the way are terrific entertainers. “Leprechaun in the Hood” is one of my all time favorite movies. If you haven’t seen it yet you should really check it out. Warwick Davis is awesome in it. I sat next to him in a vendor booth at a comic convention. He is a little bit grumpy though. I accidently set something down on his table and he was peeved.

BigFoot Zombie Shoots the Breeze

Bigfoot Zombie “Strikes the Pose” which is to turn his head toward the camera as through he’s just been discovered by accident but in is actuality is being sighted on purpose to perpetuate the myth.

It’s been a while since BFZ has let it all out in terms of what he’s been up to lately.  We caught up with Sasquatch Undead and he opened up to share his feelings about the pressures of being a topic of folklore.

I’m MM.

MM: First off, thank you sir for talking with us. I know you’re very busy with scaring tourists and all that.

BFZ: My job is not to scare tourists but rather I’m a Dream Peddler. I peddle dreams of scientific possibility. In truth science knows very little in relation to what it COULD know in 2020 if we weren’t on this path.

MM: What happens in 2020?

BFZ: We find out if science has any meaning anymore. Me and Lochy (Loch Ness Monster) were talking the other day about how times have changed recently. It used to be that there was a curiosity about spotting us and so on, but according to Marty (Martian) sighting opportunities of us folks have gone down 35% in the last few years. Now that’s scary!

MM: Yes. We heard you were concerned about the general perception of climate change.

BFZ: Yeah. If climate change studies are on the chopping block, what hope is there for interest in spotting folks like me and the gang?!


BigFoot Zombie Reveals How He Became a Mythic Legend

Let’s face it, BigFoot Sr. (Jr. doesn’t participate in “surprise” photos, he’s an accountant) has more traction and publicity than BigFoot Zombie does. Some speculate that BigFoot Zombie is both a Sasquatch and a “Night of the Living Dead Creature.” In short, many marketers agree that the reason BFZ is not as popular as BF is has to do with him confusing people. Is he a BigFoot or is he a Zombie? Agency folks have recommended that BigFoot Zombie make a decision regarding who he will do advertisement campaigns toward, will it be BigFoot Fan Clubs or Zombie Fan Clubs?  BigFoot Zombie doesn’t listen to the naysayers and has taken possession of building his own brand sans the “so called experts.” BigFoot Zombie sees himself being twice the draw instead of having conflicting image issues like the promotional camp asserts. So how did BigFoot Zombie manage to become a mythic legend despite the critics chopping down his approach? Simple. He combined his artistic side with his entrepreneur side and became an ArtisticPreneur. This way he had the passion of the artist and the business smarts of the entrepreneur. In other words he burns his own career path and has become a formidable force advocating for himself and telling his story just like the site ArtisticPreneur suggests. You go BigFoot Zombie!

Should BigFoot Zombie Become a Rock Star?

BigFoot Zombie
This is the classic BigFoot Zombie picture. Learn in this post the shocking truth behind how this iconic blurry image came to be.

To Become a Famous Musician or not to Become a Famous Musician?

Let’s face it. BigFoot Zombie would make a great rock star and he knows it. He’s never tried to become a music celebrity before because he never had the bandwidth due to his busy schedule and passionate commitment to keeping the “BigFoot Zombie” myth and legend alive by letting himself be “accidentally” be caught on camera in very blurry photos like the one shown in this post. And FYI the agreement between BFZ and the photographers of his pictures is that they must shoot photos that are blurry so that no one is positively sure BigFoot Zombie even really exists. It keeps the drama going.

BigFoot Zombie’s Big Issue of Pursuing the Career of Performing Tunes

BigFoot Zombie is in a quandary folks. Because of the blurry photos and film clips taken of him he’s already got the visibility necessary to piggy back it to become a vocalist as a solo career or even as the leader of a band. He can’t sing very well but that’s never stopped a lot of people from seeking and even achieving stardom. Here’s the problem though: he doesn’t want to do blurry music videos. He feels as an artist that appearing crisp and clear in his music clips  is vital because he has been learning the ancient Japanese art of Kabuki and for it to be fully experienced one’s image of it must solidly be in focus.

The History of Out of Focus Photos of BigFoot Zombie is a Family Affair

BigFoot Zombie is driven like nobody’s business to win a Grammy by the time he’s 61 years old. Reporters first began writing about him in October (the month of Halloween) 1958. The famous photo of him that we include in this article is actually that of his mother Matilda who was gathering grub for her son. Because at the time this picture was taken BFZ was just a cute little baby BigFoot Zombie , much too young to appear in intentionally poorly done images.

Putting Aside for the Moment the In Focus versus Not in Focus Issue Concerning Making Music Videos

Now putting the music video issue aside, BigFoot Zombie becomes determined to achieve fame in the music world. To do so he goes to two different consultants. The first consultant who is very “New Age” and “in the moment” as well as eats Vegan, gave BFZ this advice for becoming a rock star in 3 steps:

1. Smile.
2. Listen.
3. Be.

BigFoot Zombie Considers the Crystal Carrying Consultant’s 3 Steps to the Rock ‘n Roll Bigtime

BigFoot Zombie didn’t like SMILING, he was known as not being a good LISTENER (growling without really hearing the other person) and the “BE” thing really got him. When he asked the New Age consultant how to “Be” the suggestion was get into a meditative position and then to breath in and breath out listening to the breath. As we’ve already established BigFoot Zombie was not a good listener, not even of his own breath. So Smile/Listen/Be as the 3 steps to be just like KISS and Off Every Day (his two favorite bands) just didn’t feel right to the furry guy. Hence he sought out the 2nd consultant who promoted himself as being a “Realist not an Idealist.”

The Realist Consultant’s Feedback

When BigFoot Zombie told the Realist Consultant of the New Age Consultant’s suggestion to smile, listen and “be” this set off the second consultant who began to angrily rant:

“No. Not true. These are the real 3 REAL steps to become a rock star:

1. Make sure you have a self entitled personality and the outlook that everyone is wrong except for YOU.

2. Focus on that part of YOU that is childish and believes you’re entitled and deserving of whatever you want.

3. When you play your music YOU must believe to the core that it is not only better than anyone else’s but that anybody who doesn’t buy your tunes is a complete idiot.”

We Need Your Feedback

Which of the two consultant’s advice do you think BigFoot Zombie should take to become a Rock Star? Or should the living legend not even bother with a music career and instead focus (ironic use of the word) on what he does best, which is “getting caught” on camera? Let us know so we can pass it on to BFZ! Thanks!

UPDATE (Approximately 3 Hours Later)

Thanks readers for your highly valued opinions. It seems that the majority of you (93.3 %) are of the opinion that BigFoot Zombie in order to become a pop icon music artist should implement these three steps: “(1) Smile, (2) Listen, (3) Be.”

UPDATE (1 Day Later)

Bigfoot Zombie has taken the fans’ recommendation and is currently at a Yoga Camp somewhere in Madera County. He’s NOT under the spotlight yet but he IS eating vegetarian (he likes eggs too much to go Vegan right off the bat).

BigFoot Zombie will Play Jack Wilson and Stamas Bro Aristotle will Portray the Title Role in the Japanese Remake of “Shane!”

Stamas Bros
From left to right woman passes out balloons to attendees at a promotional event in North Fork, CA (near Fresno) announcing the “Shane” remake. Stamas Bro Aristotle can be seen in poster “mock up” in front of which stands BigFoot Zombie who is looking forward to his thespian debut.

Breaking News! Alert the press!

The original movie “Shane,” based on the book by the late Jack Schaefer, is considered to be one of the all time Classic Westerns. It was nominated for six Academy Awards including “Best Picture” and took one Oscar home. It is this fine picture that is being redone in a Japanese version because there is a loophole in the motion picture rights in the Far East.

Stamas Bro “Shane” Aristotle is the grandson of author Jack Schaefer. As Aristotle stood by his grandfather’s bedside just before Mr. Schaefer passed away, his last words (which were to Aristotle) were:

“Aristotle my boy, my last dying request is that you make a Japanese version of Shane with you in the lead role.”

And then Jack’s eyes close and he goes on to the western style deep valleys in the sky.

The film was in development when Stamas Bro Aristotle, knowing that he was valuable to the production because he was a blood relative of author Jack Schaefer, made three demands of the Japanese movie’s producers.

1. He demands a trailer.
2. When served bread, he insists that the crust be removed.
3. And finally, the villain role of Jack Wilson must be acted by the wooly one.

BigFoot Zombie was of course honored to have his friend get him the role of the bad guy so we invited him along with Stamas to talk about the cutting edge cinematic venture at a North Fork (near Fresno) promotional event.

BigFoot Zombie and Stamas Bro Aristotle show up fashionably late and as BigFoot Zombie goes into nearby shrubbery to “commune with nature,” Aristotle immediately takes charge of the attendees.

Quiet people. Quiet. Settle down. I have something to say!

By this time all the event guests have stopped talking and stare questioningly at Stamas Bro Aristotle.

Aristotle looks toward the balloon lady and reaches out his hand.

May I have a red one?

She gives him a red balloon and Aristotle continues speaking.

As some of you know, I am the grandson of the late Jack Schaefer – the author of the book “Shane” – which is why I was cast in the motion picture. The producers want to include this fact in the marketing. But I am very much against nepotism.

The guests all simultaneously nod their heads in agreement.

Unfortunately my brother, Stamas Bro Homer was unable to make it here today because he has business in New York to attend to. But if he was here right now I’m sure he’d back me up on my being horrified at the notion of using family connections to get ahead.

Aristotle ties his balloon onto his left wrist followed by removing from a pocket a small bottle of whisky, unscrewing the cap, and taking a swig. As he embarks on a monologue he continues to drink the whisky throughout and gets more and more inebriated.

In fact I’m not just against nepotism, but I am also very ANTI name dropping. I mean if I wanted to drop a few names I’d mention that not only am I the fruit of the loom of Grandpappy Jack, but I’m also distantly related to Burl Ives the folk singer – who is also known for lending his voice to the character of “The Snowman Narrator” in the December 6, 1964 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Special that they STILL play on TV today! And then of course there’s another relative of mine, also from the Ives side: Charles Ives, who was an American modernist composer and is one of the first American composers of international renown. Not only that. My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was Elder Brewster who was the Minister onboard of the Mayflower boat that arrived on the 9th of November, 1620. Google it. You’ll find there are paintings online of him by famous artists from the 1600’s. And because of his education and stature he became the LEADER of the Mayflower folks. He practically INVENTED Thanksgiving. But like I said, I’m not going to mention any of that because touting who I am related to just isn’t in my DNA!

Suddenly BigFoot Zombie jumps out from behind a bush growling!

Thankfully Stamas Bro Aristotle speaks the language of BigFoot Zombies and is able to interpret the animalistic sounds into English for the group.

BFZ says he wants us to perform a scene from the “Shane” screenplay.

As it turns out, there is a professional interpreter in the audience who can speak in 32 animal tongues who comes forward to lend his skills. Now with BigFoot Zombie interpreter in tow for the Jack Wilson part, man and beast put on a show. This was a great way to close the event and demonstrated the exciting cutting edge artistry we have to look forward to when “Shane 2: Live from Tokyo” is completed and released. Sadly Godzilla, whose participation has been secured to embody the role of Joey Starrett, was unavailable for the brief performance.

Shane : So you’re Jack Wilson.

Jack Wilson : What’s that mean to you, Shane?

Shane : I’ve heard about you.

Jack Wilson : What have you heard, Shane?

Shane : I’ve heard that you’re a low-down Yankee liar.

Jack Wilson : Prove it.

A stunned audience slowly begins to applaud prompting SBA and BFZ take a bow.

If you would like to join the Stamas Bros Fan Club please go here. If you are a bro and have the last name “Stamas” please go here.


John Yianni Stamas at The BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead Non-Mythical Monster Event

John Yianni Stamas with
Left to right John Yianni Stamas with BFZ at The BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead NON-Mythical Monster Event in Manhattan, NY Presented by Stamas Bro Homer and Stamas Bro Aristotle of Stamas Bros Fame (Photo Credit Stamas Bro Homer).

Did You Have the Courage to Attend?!

Were you at this unusual New York City  event? If this is the case and you didn’t lose your mind (and haven’t been institutionalized and put in a padded cell due to the odd things you witnessed)  we’d love to hear from you by leaving a message at the nonprofit sponsored Lights Camera Read website IF YOU DARE!

Brace Yourself for a Bizarre, Twisted and Utterly Weird Tale

Welcome Stamas Bros fans and lovers of the unearthly, coming your way is a story, so strange and out of the ordinary that we encourage you to turn back and not read the following unless you are utterly sure you can handle freaky and peculiar anecdotes so astonishing you could find yourself going…Well, going INSANE!

So if you’re still reading this, we’ve done our due diligence  and warned you so you are now proceeding of your own volition and curiosity of bugged out narratives!

It’s Important to Pronounce People’s Names Correctly

Web Designer, Digital Marketer and Blogger John Yianni Stamas has the last name “Stamas” and according to the audio recording at he pronounces it correctly ([American] S-ta-mas, [British] Sta-mas). This fact pleases the event organizers who are none other than the wacky and beloved Stamas Bros – consisting of Stamas Bro Homer and Stamas Bro Aristotle – who experience deep anxiety when folks mispronounce their surname.

Event Coordinators Get Extra Support

So for extra support the Stamas Bros invite John Yianni Stamas to their NON-Mythical Monster Event for real monsters everywhere including the Abominable Snowman (Yeti was packed in ice) and the Loch Ness Monster (via Skype) as well as human monster adorers like the Manhattan Magician and folks from Harry Potter Fan Club NYC.

The affair was created by the Stamas Bros to clear up the myth that monsters are a mere figment of our imaginations. In other words monsters have the right to actually EXIST too!

The Madness Inducing Conference Goes Really Really Well (if You Consider things that are Maniacal and Spine Chilling as Going Well)

Here’s the kooky and shocking unraveling  as spun by Stamas Bro Aristotle who was shaking a bit as he bravely spoke:

“It was a beautiful and affirming thing to watch humans and monsters finally meeting face to face as brothers and sisters (note: he meant that figuratively not genetically)”

This Just In…Maybe the Happening was Not so Copacetic After All

It turns out there were glitches at the BFZSUNMME!

What the Stamas Bros did not disclose is that there were a lot of monsters, who though invited, chose not to show up. All these creatures are officially sanctuned as FMFATWs (Fearsome Monsters From Around the World) the proof of which can be found at

Oxford Dictionaries’ creature feature line up include Gremlins, Chupacabras, Manticores, Banshees, Poltergeists, Mummies, Krakens, Werewolves, Cerberuses, Succubuses, Incubuses, Cyclopses, Nandi Bears, and yes even Basiliskes (though they prefer the Greek Basiliskos, meaning ‘little king, serpent’). And last but not least, the Jersey Devil. In fact, the Jersey Devil had been selected by all the other creatures to be their spokesperson.

The Jersey Devil Monster is a Friend of
As the ghastly account goes, in 1735 the Jersey Devil was born as a normal child to Mother Leeds who lived near the Jersey Shore. But because it was her THIRTEENTH baby, the infant changed into a creature with hooves and wings and as it flew away it shrilled out with a terrifying voice: “Too bad it’s Monday and not Friday. If it was Friday today it would be a much cooler legend!”

Said JD directly to the Stamas Bros:

“As if it’s not enough to have humiliating Jersey jokes be made about us by you Manhattan-ites, but on top of that you disrespect us by naming your shindig “The BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead NON-Mythical Monster Event.” We creatures don’t respond kindly to this name because as you know BigFoot Zombie and Sasquatch Undead are merely different monikers for the same beast! Where are our names?! I don’t see any Jersey Devil, or Godzilla or even Dracula – yeah that’s right, he self identifies as a monster too! Frankenstein as well, but then you probably knew that.”

Stamas Bro Homer steps toward JD and speaks to him earnestly while quivering.

Jersey Devil sir.”

“You can call me JD.”

“JD sir, I have only reverence for you and your kind. After all you are a fabled inhabitant of the sparsely-populated Pine Barrens region in the US state of NJ. You are a wonderful kangaroo-like creature with a fantastic horse/dog head, dragon-like wings, a tail, and horns. Plus, you’re so incredibly great that the National Hockey League team based in your state – chose in your honor to call themselves the New Jersey Devils!

JD seems to take well to being buttered up and exclaims with a blood curdling scream:

“Go Devils!”

Stamas Bro Homer, doing his best to not reveal how scared he really is,  continues.

“And since you are so terrific I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We meant no disrespect.”

Stamas Bro Homer looks toward Stamas Bro Aristotle (seen on a laptop screen broadcasting from North Fork, CA, near Fresno). Stamas Bro Aristotle nods in agreement then both Bros look toward the Jersey Devil continuing to nod their heads a bit too much, possibly to cover their fear.

JD hesitates for a moment and then get a big grin.

“Oh okay, if you put it that way I guess we can absolve you just this once. But if you do this get together next year I hope you’ll simply call it “The NON-Mythical Monster Event” not naming any particular member of the horror league.”

“You got it” say the two Stamas Bros in unison.

And so everything ends happily. And again, if you were at this year’s NMME (renamed NON-Mythical Monster Event) please let us know about your experience of it no matter how abnormal, astounding or atypical!