To Become a Famous Musician or not to Become a Famous Musician?
Let’s face it. BigFoot Zombie would make a great rock star and he knows it. He’s never tried to become a music celebrity before because he never had the bandwidth due to his busy schedule and passionate commitment to keeping the “BigFoot Zombie” myth and legend alive by letting himself be “accidentally” be caught on camera in very blurry photos like the one shown in this post. And FYI the agreement between BFZ and the photographers of his pictures is that they must shoot photos that are blurry so that no one is positively sure BigFoot Zombie even really exists. It keeps the drama going.
BigFoot Zombie’s Big Issue of Pursuing the Career of Performing Tunes
BigFoot Zombie is in a quandary folks. Because of the blurry photos and film clips taken of him he’s already got the visibility necessary to piggy back it to become a vocalist as a solo career or even as the leader of a band. He can’t sing very well but that’s never stopped a lot of people from seeking and even achieving stardom. Here’s the problem though: he doesn’t want to do blurry music videos. He feels as an artist that appearing crisp and clear in his music clips is vital because he has been learning the ancient Japanese art of Kabuki and for it to be fully experienced one’s image of it must solidly be in focus.
The History of Out of Focus Photos of BigFoot Zombie is a Family Affair
BigFoot Zombie is driven like nobody’s business to win a Grammy by the time he’s 61 years old. Reporters first began writing about him in October (the month of Halloween) 1958. The famous photo of him that we include in this article is actually that of his mother Matilda who was gathering grub for her son. Because at the time this picture was taken BFZ was just a cute little baby BigFoot Zombie , much too young to appear in intentionally poorly done images.
Putting Aside for the Moment the In Focus versus Not in Focus Issue Concerning Making Music Videos
Now putting the music video issue aside, BigFoot Zombie becomes determined to achieve fame in the music world. To do so he goes to two different consultants. The first consultant who is very “New Age” and “in the moment” as well as eats Vegan, gave BFZ this advice for becoming a rock star in 3 steps:
BigFoot Zombie Considers the Crystal Carrying Consultant’s 3 Steps to the Rock ‘n Roll Bigtime
BigFoot Zombie didn’t like SMILING, he was known as not being a good LISTENER (growling without really hearing the other person) and the “BE” thing really got him. When he asked the New Age consultant how to “Be” the suggestion was get into a meditative position and then to breath in and breath out listening to the breath. As we’ve already established BigFoot Zombie was not a good listener, not even of his own breath. So Smile/Listen/Be as the 3 steps to be just like KISS and Off Every Day (his two favorite bands) just didn’t feel right to the furry guy. Hence he sought out the 2nd consultant who promoted himself as being a “Realist not an Idealist.”
The Realist Consultant’s Feedback
When BigFoot Zombie told the Realist Consultant of the New Age Consultant’s suggestion to smile, listen and “be” this set off the second consultant who began to angrily rant:
“No. Not true. These are the real 3 REAL steps to become a rock star:
1. Make sure you have a self entitled personality and the outlook that everyone is wrong except for YOU.
2. Focus on that part of YOU that is childish and believes you’re entitled and deserving of whatever you want.
3. When you play your music YOU must believe to the core that it is not only better than anyone else’s but that anybody who doesn’t buy your tunes is a complete idiot.”
We Need Your Feedback
Which of the two consultant’s advice do you think BigFoot Zombie should take to become a Rock Star? Or should the living legend not even bother with a music career and instead focus (ironic use of the word) on what he does best, which is “getting caught” on camera? Let us know so we can pass it on to BFZ! Thanks!
UPDATE (Approximately 3 Hours Later)
Thanks readers for your highly valued opinions. It seems that the majority of you (93.3 %) are of the opinion that BigFoot Zombie in order to become a pop icon music artist should implement these three steps: “(1) Smile, (2) Listen, (3) Be.”
UPDATE (1 Day Later)
Bigfoot Zombie has taken the fans’ recommendation and is currently at a Yoga Camp somewhere in Madera County. He’s NOT under the spotlight yet but he IS eating vegetarian (he likes eggs too much to go Vegan right off the bat).