Yianni Stamas, digital author and web manager, is extremely worried that Bigfoot Zombie (also known as Sasquatch Undead) has contracted the Coronavirus. This theory is based on the most recent sighting of the big lug, which took place in Inwood Hill Park in Inwood Manhattan, NY, near where Yianni lives and works. Following is a brief report that Stamas wrote based on his investigation into the matter.
More Bravery and Thoughtfulness from the Medical Community
Hi, Yianni here. I researched the sighting and discovered that the person claiming to have seen the fabulous beast, is an NYC ambulance driver, who despite only having a brief chat with the mythical creature, noted (due to her medical background) that the otherworldly mammal seemed to have the symptoms of the deadly disease or variants including shortness of breath and coughing.
Images with a Tradition
But before she could recommend to the strange being that he should seek medical help, BZ vanished into the brush. In retrospect, the paramedic worries she may have offended him because she did not use her phone to take a “proof of Bigfoot Zombie existence” picture of him that as required (to match other such photos throughout history), needed to be blurry and out of focus. Also, Bigfoot Zombie was not wearing a mask, so she gave him one from her emergency supplies that she carries with her for occasions like this one.
A “Monster” is Having a Hard Time Getting Vaccinated
My personal theory about this sighting was that Bigfoot Zombie was crying out for help because he did not get his two vaccine shots. No medical records I was able to get access to get access had a listing stating that Bigfoot Zombie had been vaccinated. Of course, it is possible that he may have gotten the shots using a pseudonym. There was the name of one individual calling himself simply “Zombie” who had received the single shot version of the vaccine.
A Creditless Ghoul
I was excited that I had seemingly acquired a good lead, but it turns out that “Zombie” was just that, a zombie. In my video chat with Zombie, he claimed to have been an unlisted extra in the original 1968 version of “Night of the Living Dead.”
Getting in Touch with Your Inner Undead
When I did an online search, I discovered an odd website that said that Bigfoot Zombie had gotten in touch with the Zombie side of his family, and through clever horror makeup had been able to work as a background player for the NEWER 1990 version of “Night of the Living Dead.” In other words, his claim was that he was able to look less like a bigfoot and instead more resembling a zombie. But when I went onto the online actor database, Bigfoot Zombie was not included in the credits for “Living Dead” 1990. Poor BZ. Bigfoot Zombie we believe in you and want to thank you for your continued efforts to be caught in the “nick of time” on camera. Admittedly, Bigfoot still has the larger audience in terms of movies and reality shows, but we would take “Bigfoot Zombie” over a mere Bigfoot, any day!